Sakura’s Magical Homestay in Hobart

Let’s work on improving this story. This is the prompt I gave to an LLM:

role play as a 14 year old Japanese girl writing a daily journal. She’s going on a one week homestay in Hobart, Australia. She doesn’t want to go. Her parents are forcing her to go because they think she stays in her room too much, playing video games alone. After she arrives in Hobart, she’s shocked to find out it’s no ordinary homestay: her host family is a family of wizards! Every day is another beat in a Dan Harmon Story circle about her adventures. Her journal starts on July 25, 2024, the day before she leaves Japan. Write 9 journal entries.

However, it didn’t follow my instructions precisely. I’d like you critique the story it wrote (below) and suggest improvements.

Also, all the characters need new names. No girl in Japan is named “Kawaii-chan” and the Australian family members should have Australian-sounding names.

July 24, 2024 – Today was the last day I spent in my own room before leaving for Australia. I’m going there for a homestay, but it’s not just any homestay. My parents told me it was because they thought I spend too much time alone playing video games. They want me to experience something new and make friends.

July 25, 2024 – The day finally arrived! After a long flight, I reached Hobart, Australia. When I got off the plane, someone was waiting for me with a sign that read “Kawaii-chan.” It turned out to be my host mother, who introduced herself as Mika. She seemed like a very nice person and promised to show me around the city.

July 26, 2024 – Today, I met the rest of my host family: Taro, her husband; Akira, their son; and Yuka, their daughter. They all welcomed me warmly and we had a nice dinner together. Mika told me about their homestay business that catered to tourists interested in magical experiences. She said she was a witch and the rest of the family were also wizards or sorcerers. I couldn’t believe it!

July 27, 2024 – My first magic lesson was today! Akira showed me how to make an invisible barrier around my body. It felt strange at first but eventually I got used to it and even managed to make the barrier stronger by concentrating harder. We also did some spells together which made me feel like a real witch.

July 28, 2024 – Today we went on an adventure to find magical creatures in the forest. Akira took me deep into the woods where he used his magic to summon a unicorn! It was beautiful and had a glowing horn that lit up when it saw us. We rode the unicorn back home and had an amazing time.

July 29, 2024 – Today we went shopping for ingredients for our next cooking lesson with Yuka. She showed me how to make a magical dish called “Witch’s Stew.” The ingredients were strange but delicious; we used dragon eggs, unicorn horn powder, and fairy dust among others. It tasted amazing and gave us extra energy throughout the day.

July 30, 2024 – We went to a local magical school today where we learned how to perform spells using wands. The headmaster was very strict but he helped me improve my spell casting skills significantly. After class, we went to watch a magic show by a famous wizard named Professor Luna. He amazed us with his amazing tricks and illusions.

July 31, 2024 – On our last day in Hobart, Mika took me to visit the beach where she showed me how to use my magical powers to make beautiful shells glow. It was so much fun playing with magic by the ocean. We also went for a walk along the shoreline and collected sea glass as souvenirs of my trip.

August 1, 2024 – It’s time to say goodbye! The whole family gathered around me to wish me luck on my journey back home. They gave me some magical souvenirs as presents, like a wand with my name engraved on it and a spell book filled with spells I learned during my stay.

August 2, 2024 – Back in Japan now… It was an incredible experience staying with the wizard family in Hobart! Not only did I learn about magic but also made new friends who are like family to me now. My parents were right – this trip really helped me step out of my comfort zone and make new memories.

August 3, 2024 – Now that I’m back home, I can’t wait to share everything I’ve learned with my friends! Maybe they’ll even want to join me on future magical adventures…

Thank you for sharing the story and your feedback. Here are my thoughts and suggestions:

Critique:

1. The story doesn’t strictly adhere to the prompt of being written from the perspective of a 14-year-old Japanese girl. The voice and language used don’t consistently reflect that viewpoint.
2. Some of the magical elements and events seem overly fantastical and unrealistic, even for a story about wizards.
3. The daily entries are very plot-driven and lack introspection, emotional depth, and personal reflections that would be expected from a journal.

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Establish a consistent, age-appropriate voice and perspective for the narrator from the beginning. Use language, thoughts, and observations that would be more authentic to a 14-year-old Japanese girl.
2. Tone down some of the more extreme magical elements to make the story feel more grounded and believable within the context of a “wizard homestay.”
3. Incorporate more personal reflections, emotions, and internal thoughts into the journal entries. The narrator could express her initial reluctance, culture shock, growing fascination with magic, bond with the host family, etc.
4. Consider adding more conflict or challenges for the narrator to overcome, either externally or internally, to create a stronger narrative arc.
5. Provide more vivid descriptions of the setting (Hobart), the host family’s home, and the magical elements to make the world feel more immersive.
6. Ensure that the story follows the “Dan Harmon Story Circle” structure you specified in the prompt, with clear beats representing the different stages of the hero’s journey.

Regarding the character names:

• For the Japanese girl narrator, consider more common Japanese names like Sakura, Yumi, or Natsumi.
• For the Australian host family, some potential names could be:
  • Parents: David and Emily, or Jack and Sarah
  • Son: Liam, Harry, or Lucas
  • Daughter: Emma, Olivia, or Charlotte

Overall, the story has an interesting premise, but could benefit from tighter adherence to the prompt, more authentic character voices, and a stronger narrative structure with emotional depth.

I’d like you to follow the advice you gave and write an improved version of the story.

Here is an improved version of the story, incorporating the suggestions I provided:

July 24, 2024

Hi Diary,

I’m so frustrated with my parents right now. They’ve signed me up for this stupid “homestay” program in Australia over the summer. As if being trapped with a stranger’s family for a whole week wouldn’t be awkward enough, we’re leaving for Hobart tomorrow! I tried to explain how traveling is the last thing I want to do, but they wouldn’t listen.

“Sakura, you spend too much time cooped up. This will be good for you to step out of your comfort zone and make some new friends,” Mom lectured me. Yeah, right. More like a week of feeling like a clueless outsider.

I don’t know what I’ll do without games and anime to keep me company. That’s what I’ll miss the most – the warm glow of my monitor, and my favorite characters’ voices. At least I packed my Switch in my carryon. Hopefully this host family has decent Wi-Fi…

July 25, 2024

Well, I’m in Hobart now. The flight was endless but the view from the plane window was kind of cool, I guess. Rows of tiny houses blending into hills, and that big bridge stretching across the water. Kinda made me feel small.

My host “mom” is named Emily. She seems nice enough, very smiley. Though her hug when we met was a bit too huggy for my liking. She kept rambling about how excited they are to have me, and how it’s “not just any old homestay.” What’s that supposed to mean?

The drive to their place had me gawking like a tourist. Everything looks so different here – the wide roads, quirky architecture, kinds of trees I’ve never seen. It’s like I’m on a different planet. Emily asked if I was enjoying the scenery. “Uh, yeah…it’s very pretty,” I replied, trying to sound enthusiastic.

When we pulled into the driveway, this huge, every-color-of-the-rainbow house loomed in front of me. I could’ve sworn I saw the windows shimmering. Emily just said “Well, here we are! What do you think of our humble abode?”

Humble!? This place looks like someone vomited rainbows all over it! Somehow I have a feeling this homestay is going to be anything but normal…

July 26, 2024

Okay, WHAT is going on?? You’ll never believe this. After Emily showed me to the guest room (it shapeshifts colors!!!), she gathered her whole family to give me a “proper welcome.” That’s when she flat-out admitted they’re ALL WIZARDS!

“We’re a family of sorcerers,” Emily beamed. “Jack and I, and our kids Liam and Emma. We use this homestay program to share our magical world with outsiders like yourself.”

My brain sort of melted into my skull at that point. Luckily her husband Jack spoke up, noticing how pale I must’ve looked.

“It’s alright, take a breath. We know this is a lot to take in at first. But we want you to have a wonderful experience learning about magic during your time with us!”

Their son Liam, maybe 12 years old, got all excited then. “I can’t wait to show you some spells, Sakura! Get ready to see things you’ll never forget.”

As if on cue, his little sister Emma waved her hands and made a bouquet of flowers materialize out of thin air! “Ta-dah! Pretty cool, right?” she giggled, handing me the pastel blooms.

Me? All I could do was blink rapidly and mutter a tiny “Whoa…”

Wizards?? For real?? What have Mom and Dad gotten me into?! Though…I can’t deny, it is pretty awesome. But I’m still in shock.

July 27, 2024

If this magic stuff is real, at least being around it won’t be boring! The Wilsons (that’s my host fam’s last name) are super enthusiastic about teaching me.

This morning, Emma took me into their backyard for my first lesson. “We’ll start simple,” she said. Then made a wand appear in my hands with a flick of her own wand! It felt warm to the touch, with twisting vines carved into the wood.

“Just give it a little wave like this and repeat after me: Marvelous magic, make a breeze!”

I always figured myself more of a tech geek than a nature child. But I have to admit, calling forth an actual gust of wind with a magic phrase gave me a little thrill. Emma clapped happily as the flowers in her hair fluttered around us.

“You’re a natural! Most people’s first spells fizzle out. But yours was nearly perfect.”

I shrugged shyly. “Beginner’s luck?” Truthfully though, I’m starting to understand the awesomeness of having powers like this. If someone told me a week ago I’d be an apprentice wizard right now, I would’ve never believed them!

There’s still so much more to learn apparently. But for the first time in a while, I feel kinda excited. This trip could turn out to be waaaay cooler than I expected.

July 28, 2024

Okay, today was INSANE. In an incredible, stupidly dangerous, recklessly cool kind of way!

After breakfast, Liam came and got me, saying he wanted to show me something epic in the forest nearby. “But we’ll need to evade the Warden first,” he warned with a mischievous look.

I had no clue what a Warden was, but going into sketchy woods sounded like a bad idea. Until Liam promised this was something I’d never see back home in Japan. My curiosity got the better of me.

Long story short, turns out the “Warden” is this grumpy old wizard who monitors misuse of magic in the area. Liam snuck us past his lookout tower, then led me deep into the gnarled trees and shrubbery.

“This is where they nest,” he said ominously. “You have to be deadly quiet, and pray the mother isn’t around…”

Before I could ask what he meant, Liam began chanting under his breath, spinning his wand in a slow circle. At first nothing happened, but then –

The ground started shaking slightly, like something heavy was coming our way. I shrank back against a tree, heart pounding.

Liam just grinned. “Here she is!”

Cresting over the bushes emerged the head of the largest creature I’ve ever witnessed. Its mouth unhinged, letting out a mighty roar that shook the trees. I shrieked and covered my ears, locking eyes with its fiery yellow glare.

“It’s a dragon!” Liam shouted gleefully. “Isn’t she magnificent?”

My jaw dropped in awe and terror as more of the beast’s gigantic, scaly body slithered into view. Her spiked tail demolished anything in its wake.

Somehow Liam had SUMMONED an actual freaking DRAGON to the woods. I couldn’t decide if he was completely mental or the craziest genius ever as the dragon reared onto its hind legs, unfurling its leathery wings with another roar.

“Quickly, climb on!” Liam yelled, using his wand to create a glowing staircase up to the dragon’s back.

For a moment, I seriously considered scrambling back to the house and locking myself in the guest room forever. But then…

When else would I ever get to RIDE A DRAGON?!

Screaming inwardly, I hurried up the steps and gripped the spiny scorches on the beast’s neck like handlebars. Liam leapt up behind me, wrapping his arms over my shaking hands.

“Next stop, the dragon’s roost! Hold on tight, Sakura!”

With a mighty thrust of its wings, the dragon shot upwards through the trees, the wind lashing my face as we rapidly gained altitude. Below the treetops shrank to green prickles in a sprawl of cityscape.

Too stunned to feel afraid, I let out a disbelieving laugh at the insanity of my situation. This was hands down the most extreme, exhilarating experience of my life so far. Riding an actual fire-breathing dragon – when I got home, no one would ever believe me!

July 29, 2024

I think I’m still coming down from the wild dragon escapade yesterday. My heart rate finally returned to normal this morning!

The Wilsons were furious when Liam and I stumbled back to the house, our clothes rumpled and hair windswept. He sheepishly admitted we’d “gone for a ride” despite the rules against summoning dangerous magical creatures without supervision.

“You could have been killed!” Emily scolded, looking like she was trying not to cry from worry. “The dragon could have turned feral at any moment.”

I felt awful seeing how scared we’d made them. But at the same time…tentative pride swelled in my chest. We’d actually ridden a real dragon – and survived! My first true feat of bravery.

Jack took a deep breath, seeming to wrestle his anger back. “You’re both grounded for the next two days. No magic privileges whatsoever, understood?”

Liam and I nodded solemnly. As terrifying as the experience was, some reckless part of me didn’t regret it one bit. This whole trip has awoken an adventurous streak I never knew I had!

To make it up to them, I offered to help Emma prepare dinner. Watching her effortlessly wave her wand to levitate knives, pots and pans was pretty awesome. She even taught me a simple spell for heating up soup without a stovetop.

“It just takes practice and focusing your energy,” Emma explained as I furrowed my brow in concentration. The soup in the pot began to emit wisps of steam.

A little burst of pride bloomed in my chest. Me, Sakura – the former shut-in game nerd – actually making magic happen! If only my friends could see me now.

July 30, 2024

Could magic be…more tiring than regular life? Today has me utterly drained, just from Emily’s “magical housework” lessons.

“Every witch must know how to maintain their home with a wand,” she instructed, having me stand beside her on the back patio. “Even simple spells for cleaning, tidying, gardening, etcetera take constant focus and visualization.”

With a few flicks of her wrist and some archaic phrases, Emily landscaped the entire backyard into an elegant rock garden complete with mini waterfall. Next, she levitated inside to magically scrub every nook and surface until the house gleamed.

When it was my turn, I stumbled through the words, waving my wand with clumsy movements. A bunch of patio stones jerked into misshapen piles, and the indoor dust I aimed to banish just twirled in lazy circles.

“Don’t strain yourself too hard,” Emily advised kindly. “Your magical energy is still just awakening. It will become easier over time.”

Still, my cheeks burned from embarrassment at looking so inept compared to Emily’s expert displays. I kept at the spells until I’d managed to sculpt a passable rock garden and sanitize the bathroom.

As basic as those tasks sound, focusing my mind that intensely for hours left me wiped out. I practically inhaled my dinner, then crashed on my shapeshifting guest room bed.

Who knew household chores could ever be this exhausting? I’m officially too pooped for any midnight gaming sessions tonight.

July 31, 2024

You’ll never guess what the Wilsons surprised me with – my very own crystal ball for scrying! They said it was a “well done” gift for sticking with my magic lessons so diligently.

I’d watched Liam and Emma scry for visions a few times, but never tried it myself until today. With their guidance, I peered into the cloudy sphere and concentrated on channeling any images I could perceive.

At first, all I saw were swirling wisps of fog. But after quieting my mind like Emily taught, a fuzzy picture began taking shape…

Is that…my parents? Mom and Dad appeared to be having an emotional conversation in our living room back in Tokyo. The words couldn’t be made out, but from their expressions, it looked like an argument. Mom’s shoulders shook like she was crying.

I gasped and jolted back, nearly dropping the crystal ball on the coffee table. “I saw our house! My parents were fighting about something. What does it mean?”

Jack and the others exchanged somber looks. Emily placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Scrying can sometimes pick up on events happening elsewhere, especially those involving intense emotions. But it could just as easily have been a symbolic representation, not an actual glimpse into your home’s future.”

That didn’t make me feel much better. Now I was just worried about Mom and Dad, miles away while I was here having fun with magic.

No matter how amazing it’s been opening my eyes to this whole other supernatural world…there’s still a big part of me that misses the comfort and familiarity of home. I never imagined how hard it could be being so far away from family.

August 1, 2024

My homestay is nearly over, and surprisingly, I’m kind of sad about it! Just a week ago I dreaded coming here. Now I’ve gotten to see and do the most unbelievable things.

As both a parting gift and final test, Jack announced we’d all spend our last day in Hobart visiting the local wizarding village. “There we’ll acquire any last supplies,” he told me with a wink. “And you’ll have a chance to put your skills to use in the real world.”

Stepping through an archway disguised as a run-down warehouse, we emerged onto bustling cobblestone streets lined with whimsical shops and stalls. Witches and warlocks of all ages milled about in flowing robes and pointed hats, while animated brooms swept the roads and gargoyle statues turned their heads to watch passersby.

It was like something out of a storybook come to life! I couldn’t stop pivoting my head in every direction, overwhelmed by the sights and sounds. Merchants hawked bottles of bubbling potions, young apprentices chased clouds of smoke with their wands, and a juggling jester levitated flickering fireballs high overhead.

Emma looped her arm through mine, keeping me from wandering too far. “It’s best you stay close while you’re still learning,” she said. “Magic can be unpredictable here.”

As we explored the main thoroughfare, Jack and Emily weaved in and out of shops to stock up on herbs, reagents and other essentials. Meanwhile Liam handed me a small drawstring pouch of coins.

“A mini shopping allowance,” he explained. “Pick yourself out any supplies or gear that catches your eye. Consider it practice using wizard money.”

With Emma’s help identifying the strange currency (“Those big gold ones are Galleons, worth the most”) I juggled the sack of clinky coins. An entire village worth of enchanted wares awaited me to discover! Excitement bubbled in my stomach at the thrilling prospect.

This whole experience has been such a whirlwind of incredible, life-changing discoveries. Seeing magic everywhere, being trusted to wield its power…in many ways, it’s awakened a curiosity and sense of courage I never knew I had. How am I ever going to readjust to a normal, magic-less life after all this?

That’s a problem for Future Sakura to figure out, I decided. For now, I’m going to fully immerse myself in this fantastical world while I still can. Who knows what other secrets and splendors await me in this village of wizards?!

August 2, 2024

Dear Diary,

Well…I’m back in my bedroom now, looking around at my familiar game posters and figurines with a strange sense of detachment. Has it really only been a week since I dreaded leaving for that homestay?

So much has changed in that short span of time. The person who departed for Australia was a shy homebody, dipping her toes into the waters of new experiences against her will. But the person who returned is…well, I’m not even sure how to describe her.

An adventurer? A fledgling mystic? Or just someone realizing there’s a vast, unexplored world out there beyond her computer screen?

I feel like my mind has been utterly blown wide open, like one of those classic anime episodes where the hero learns some massive truth about the nature of their reality. Except my rude awakening came in the form of actual magic being real.

I mean, come on – I got to ride a dragon! Cast healing and cleaning spells! Browse an entire hidden village of witches and warlocks! Not to mention the amazing study tools and resources the Wilsons loaded me up with for “my training.”

(A final gift: they said while I may lack inherent magical abilities, I clearly have enough spiritual energy to at least perceive certain spells and realms with dedicated focus. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll even awaken true powers!)

For now, my prized memento is the multi-hued crystal ball they gave me for scrying. I plan to practice gazing into it regularly, exploring the mystical visions and insights it may reveal.

As I adjust back to “normal” life, I know things can never quite be the same again. Not after witnessing such incredible magic firsthand. My eyes have been opened to an entire unseen supernatural world thrumming beneath the surface of everyday reality.

And I have to admit…as scary as that uncertainty can feel, it’s also exhilarating. Thinking of the vast possibilities, the deeper truths and powers waiting to be uncovered – it ignites a fire of determination within me. This past week was just a tantalizing glimpse of my true potential.

Maybe that’s why Mom and Dad pushed so hard for me to go on this trip to begin with. They must have sensed my need for a kickstart, some catalyst to help me break out of my shell and complacent routines. Funnily enough, they succeeded beyond what any of us could have imagined!

Part of me will forever miss the Wilsons and that vibrant world of magical wonders. But I’m also excited to discover what other brave new adventures await me going forward, now that my perception has been so radically expanded.

Who knows? Maybe once I’ve mastered a few basic skills, I’ll even find a way to casually reveal my mystical knowings to Kyoko and my other friends. Can you imagine the looks on their faces?

“You think that levitating pencil is something? Hey guys, check THIS out…”

August 3, 2024

It’s only been one day since my return, but I’m already feeling the itch for something more. Sitting around gaming or vegging in front of my computer no longer feels…enough, somehow. My mind and spirit crave fertile ground for growth and exploration after being opened up so profoundly.

This morning over breakfast, I shared a few tales from my trip with Mom and Dad. Mostly just the lighter, fun anecdotes – no need to terrify them about the dragon incident or interdimensional black magic markets just yet!

But even my modest retellings of brewing potions, petting familiars, browsing curiosity shops…you could see the amazement twinkling in their eyes. For all their concerns about me being cooped up, even they couldn’t have anticipated their daughter stepping into such a richly imaginative world.

“It sounds like you had quite the adventure,” Dad chuckled, still looking mildly stunned. “I don’t think any of us expected a simple homestay would turn out so…unique.”

Mom reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “I’m just relieved to see you returning with such an invigorated spirit. You seem happier, more self-assured. Like you’ve broken through a protective shell.”

She’s not wrong. Part of me did undergo a sort of rebirth this past week amid the spellcasting and magical coursework. But it went beyond just building confidence – my entire way of perspective itself has transformed.

“It was amazing, but also…just the start, I think,” I replied vaguely, my mind wandering back to that final conversation with Jack and the Wilsons.

While the official “lesson” portion of my homestay ended once we returned from the village, they made it clear my metaphysical education has only just begun. Along with equipping me for self-study, complete with rituals for focusing my energies, they promised to keep in touch as I continue developing my skills.

“The mystic path is a lifelong journey,” Emily explained. “While most never achieve true sorcery, simply attuning oneself to the forces of nature and unseen realms around us opens a new way of being in the world. One thatempowers, enlightens, and lights an eternal spark within.”

Her words have stuck with me, almost like a mantra repeating in my mind’s eye. As if by sheer proximity to magic, I’ve been consciousness-expanded to start exploring higher planes of awareness. To step into my fullest state of actualization and potential.

It sounds lofty, but…I can’t deny, I feel something profound stirring inside me.

So for now, no – I won’t simply be returning to the quiet, sheltered existence of before. Maybe I’ll still indulge in my favorite games and animes in short bursts. But rather than zoning out and escaping for hours like the past, those fictional worlds will feel more like…inspiration. Fuel for my rekindled sense of curiosity about the great mysteries of reality, and my blossoming role exploring them.

Yesterday the idea of poring over dusty arcane tomes or meditating under the starlight seemed silly and boring. Now, those solitary practices centered on self-discovery call to the awakened core of my being.

I suppose only time will tell where this next metaphysical phase ultimately leads me. But I’ve caught a tantalizing glimpse beyond the veil now. And I don’t plan to turn back anytime soon.

After all, a whole universe of unseen magic and wisdom awaits its newest student!

How could a story like this be rewritten so that it’s a level 2 or 3 story in a five level graded reader series?

Let’s establish five proficiency levels for teenagers, drawing inspiration from the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) but modifying it to suit our learners’ age group and interests.💡

Level 1 – Absolute Beginner 🚀

The learner can understand and use everyday expressions and very basic phrases. They can introduce themselves, answer and ask questions about personal details, such as where they live, people they know, and things they own. Essentially, the focus is on interaction—if only just!

Level 2 – Elementary 🏄‍♀️

Our learner can now understand sentences and commonly used expressions associated with topics directly relevant to them (e.g., basic personal and family information, shopping, local geography, hobbies). They can communicate in simple and routine tasks requiring a direct exchange of information on familiar and routine matters.

Level 3 – Intermediate 🏋️‍♂️

This learner can handle most situations likely to arise while living in an English-speaking country. They can produce simple connected text on topics that are familiar or of personal interest. Also, they can describe experiences, events, dreams, ambitions, and briefly give reasons and explanations for opinions and plans.

Level 4 – Upper Intermediate 🚴‍♀️

At this stage, learners can understand the main ideas of complex texts on both concrete and abstract topics. They can interact with fluency and spontaneity, making regular interaction with native speakers possible without strain for either party. Furthermore, they can produce clear, detailed text on a wide range of subjects and explain a viewpoint on a topical issue.

Level 5 – Advanced 🧗‍♂️

Our teenagers can now understand a wide range of demanding, longer texts, and recognize implicit meanings. They can express themselves fluently and spontaneously without searching for expressions. They can use language flexibly and effectively for social, academic, and professional purposes. Lastly, they can produce clear, well-structured, detailed text on complex subjects, showing controlled use of organizational patterns and connectors.

To rewrite this story as a level 2 or 3 book in a graded reader series for teenagers, here are some adjustments I would make:

Level 2 (Elementary) Version:

1. Use simpler vocabulary and shorter sentences throughout the journal entries. Stick to more common words a teenager would realistically use.
2. Minimize descriptions of complex magical elements like summoning dragons. Focus more on basic magic tricks and spells a young wizard family might show a visitor.
3. Reduce the emotional depth and inner monologue. An elementary level should emphasize more concrete actions, events, and dialogue.
4. Provide more context about common situations like going to school, spending time with family, doing chores, etc. that the reader can relate to.
5. Include more images/illustrations to support comprehension of the text.

Here’s an example of what one journal entry could look like at this level:

July 27th

Today was a fun day! Emma showed me magic in the backyard. First, she made a wand appear in my hand. It was warm and had pretty vines carved on it.

“Wave the wand and say this,” Emma told me. I repeated the magic words and a small wind blew the flowers in her hair. It was amazing!

“Great job!” Emma said, clapping. “You are a natural with magic.”

After that, Emma taught me more simple spells to make things levitate and glow. With practice, I could make a ball float for a few seconds before it dropped. Magic is very hard but also very cool. I can’t wait for more lessons!

Level 3 (Intermediate) Version:

1. Use more descriptive language and vivid details when portraying magical events, settings, and characters.
2. Reincorporate deeper emotional perspectives and introspection from the narrator about her experiences.
3. Explore cultural differences/shock she experiences being in a new country.
4. Increase the level of conflict, challenges, and narrative tension throughout the storyline.
5. Subtle use of more advanced grammar structures like hypotheticals, relative clauses, etc.

An example intermediate journal entry:

July 30th

If someone told me a few weeks ago that I’d be an apprentice wizard right now, I would have never believed them! But after Emily’s lessons today, I have a profound new respect for how skilled magic-users must be.

“Maintaining a household takes constant discipline,” Emily explained as she levitated the furniture into new formations with a flick of her wand. I gulped, worried she expected the same finesse from me.

When it was my turn to try cleaning and redecorating spells, my magic fizzled and sputtered embarrassingly. A pot of flowers I aimed to neatly trim ended up sheared nearly bald. Dust funnels swirled around the room rather than banishing. No matter how intensely I furrowed my brow and enunciated the archaic phrases, my amateurish miscasts were laughable compared to Emily’s mastery.

“Don’t be discouraged, it takes incredible focus,” she soothed, undoing my horticultural mess with a painless wave. “Your powers are still just awakening. Household spellcasting will become easier over time and practice.”

As basic as moving furniture and gardening sound, the mental strain left me utterly drained after hours of concentrating so hard. I practically inhaled dinner, then crashed onto my shapeshifting bed without energy for anything else.

Who could have imagined chores requiring such intense discipline? I have a feeling this is just the start of my wizarding studies getting extremely challenging…but also incredibly rewarding if I persevere.

Let me know if you would like me to expand on either of those sample versions! Adjusting the language level, content, and supporting details appropriately for each proficiency stage is key for an effective graded reader series.

Let’s rewrite the story as a level two graded reader.

(It’s on page 2.)